Friend Going Through Divorce Mugs

Mover Carrying Furniture to Trucks Saying "His" and "Hers"

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

'Gotta go, hot date with my future ex-wife.'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Do you take part exchanges?'

DIVORCE COURT, 'Not only did she get the house and the car, I also have to train my replacement.'

Letting bygones be bye-byegones: Divorce Court.

"We never talk anymore...except thru your lawyer."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"My ex wife is a heart surgeon. . . she ripped my heart out!"

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

"We've done volcano and twister. We need another movie about a natural disaster and my first marriage came to mind."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Your 'ex' seems to be doing well.'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'Don't hate me just because I hate you.'

"I see great wealth for your lawyer, ex wife and doctor"

Staying Single Explained.

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

"The curse has been set – your ex's shoes will now squeak in the quietest of settings."

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

"I'm leaving and I'm taking your iTunes with me."

"Then again, counselling doesn't always help everyone."

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

"Please excuse my appearance, but I don't have anywhere to wash and shave since my wife threw me out."