Friend Dealing With Heartbreak Mugs

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"Oh no! You, again?"

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

Cashflow - The milkman is here.

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

"Recently separated."

Days of Christmas.

Her tears flowed like wine.

Tears

"I'm leaving and I'm taking your iTunes with me."

"Please excuse my appearance, but I don't have anywhere to wash and shave since my wife threw me out."

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

"No she won't. She left her ring on the table."

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"Then again, counselling doesn't always help everyone."

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

"The curse has been set – your ex's shoes will now squeak in the quietest of settings."

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

'Don't feel bad - some guys lose everything.'