Frequent Shopper T-Shirts

"You do so much business here, Mr. Pena! It's like you're one of us!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Online Shopping.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Customer Convention

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

Self-Checkout.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'