Frequent Flyer's Frustration Prints

Airlines - Arrivals - Departures - People kicked off flights due to overbooking.

"Would you like some wings?"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

Elite-Premium Passengers

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"Emotionally, I'm checking three bags."

Ryanair refunds

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

'I'm a frequent flier, so it's really quite cheap.'

"If I hear one more buzz I will pull this car over!"

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

"The possibilities are endless!" "The possibilities ended."

Customer to airline clerk: 'If I drop leaflets out the plane window, do I get frequent flyer miles?'

'Joe, could I have your frequent flier points?'

Airplane Catches Woman's Washing.

Intelligent Navigation Device...

Image of Santa on a plane with a reindeer.

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"What's up with him?" "Travelling on points."

'We need a third runway for all the ministers flying to India and China to tell them to cut their carbon emissions.'

'How many frequent flyer points do you have?'

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

'You want a shuffle flight to Buffalo?'

"Your call is important to us, please hold on for the next available echo."

"... and there's a nominal fee for that emotional baggage."