Fourth Of July Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Nothing says 'Fourth of July' like beer, hot dogs, and antacids."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

'Steak Ted?'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"You like yours well done, right?"

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

Under New Management. Actually, Betsy, we were hoping for a flag with a little more style.

US National holiday

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

John F. Kennedy

"Well-done, alright?"

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

Lucky Stars.

The Idea of America.

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Me cold. Need heat cave. Fire works. To make metal tools, I need to melt these rocks. Fire works. I'd like a romantic atmosphere for my date tonight. Fire works. How should we celebrate the founding of our new nation? Fireworks!

Footing The Bill

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." It's okay for a first draft, Thomas, but it'll be much better if you make it rhyme!

'I know that it's the Fourth of July, but I still don't think an air conditioner is supposed to do this.'

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.