Fountain Pens Mugs

"A Swiss brand-name watch for a tenner? Sounds great! I've got a German brand-name fountain pen to fill in the receipt."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Je Suis Charlie

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

"I like fountains very much!"

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"This next song I just wrote, and it's called 'I Hate Fountain Pens.'"

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'It's my pseudonym.'

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

Spilled Ink

The Secret Life of Pens

'It's Jopnes Sir! He's showing off his ballpoint pen again!'

"I hope this guy isn't as dull as he looks."

A writer goes sailing.

"I'm not buying it."

How to write

The Fountain of Youth.

"We were lucky to find an island with a water feature."

'Your pen is noiser than a sword.'

"Can I help it if my pen leaks!"

A beautiful Wedge-Tailed eagle circling high above.