Fountain Pens Mugs

"A Swiss brand-name watch for a tenner? Sounds great! I've got a German brand-name fountain pen to fill in the receipt."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

Biro Diversity

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

Biro Security

Je Suis Charlie

"It has come to my attention that yous needs some protection."

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

"I like fountains very much!"

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"This next song I just wrote, and it's called 'I Hate Fountain Pens.'"

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'It's my pseudonym.'

The Secret Life of Pens

'It's Jopnes Sir! He's showing off his ballpoint pen again!'

A writer goes sailing.

"I'm not buying it."

Steadman - The Early Years.

"I hope this guy isn't as dull as he looks."

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

Spilled Ink

How to write

The Fountain of Youth.

"We were lucky to find an island with a water feature."

'Your pen is noiser than a sword.'

A beautiful Wedge-Tailed eagle circling high above.