Fountain Management T-Shirts

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

Pipe Dream.

A Hole in the Dike

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Sick Building Syndrome

Caution signs.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

Job Safety - Hardhat.

How Many It Takes

Modular Offices

"I like fountains very much!"

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

Water-works.

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

"The redesign has made the waiting room a much more tranquil place..."

Access Assessments

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

'They gave me this new cubicle with my own water fountain, treadmill, lunch dish... hey, wait a minute!'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"Well, the drought is over."

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

The Fountain of Youth.

"Who the hell keeps turning up the heat in here!?!"

"We were lucky to find an island with a water feature."

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Septic Fields Forever.

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."