Foundation Manager Pillows

"Here's to the greatest goddam foundation in the history of foundations—the MacArthur Foundation, or whatever the hell it's called!"

The day the stock market went UP.

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Forget what?'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Sick Building Syndrome

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Caution signs.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

How Many It Takes

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Primordial Schmooze

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

More people working in Voluntary sector than 2010.

Modular Offices

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'Our mutual fund management changed the name of the fund to clearly communicate their investment objectives. The fund is now called 'Make Money Anyway We Can'.'

'Last money market for 8 blocks'

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

Charity Shop Income on Rise

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

'Harley manages our most aggressive growth fund.'

"The redesign has made the waiting room a much more tranquil place..."