Fortune Hunters Pillows

'You're going to have an accident. Soon.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

Made all my investment decisions with a coin flip.

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Golden Eggs.

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

"Trepanning for gold"

Gambling on office building construction

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'