Foodie Comedian T-Shirts

" 40% of the population is overweight...you appear to account for 17% of that figure"

"No, it was bad for you last week. This week it's a super food."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"States of tofu"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

6 Brothers Falafel

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Chez Nous Menu

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Night of the Latkes

Cookbooks

"Would you like some wings?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Ninja bread men"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."