Food Tester T-Shirts

Out For A Working Lunch.

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'Can you take that down to Jenkins? I've already got a lot on my plate.'

Bad for you but to die for

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Pet Entertainers

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Rust test in progress.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Product Testing Department

Big Burgers.

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'