Food Reviewing Mugs

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"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

'He's one of the genuine food critics left...he still fills his pen with Spanish squid ink.'

Larry regrets being friends with the fifth dentist.

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"Get the soup ready! The Three Bears are coming, and one of them is a food critic."

"This might not be very good. Our cook is in a really bad mood."

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

6 Brothers Falafel

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Rump roast?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."