Food Intake Tracker Pillows

"This food app I downloaded asked me to enter my daily food consumption."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

All Natural Nothing

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"What about my footprint?"

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Guess the weight you used to be"

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

Thin and thick

"I've been working on the household budget."

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

"Obama planted it."

Global Warming.

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

Covid-19 vaccine - locally-sourced $50 /shot

'I'm from China!'

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

'Much of the country could take a battering, but before our budget report, here's the weather.'

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'To tell you the truth I don't what it is.'

'Took me all night to write that message.'

Scales: 'Every day she breaks my back! What's in it for me?'

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

Abrupt end to Red Feather's scouting career.

"Did you take part in the climate change march?"