Food Critic Of Hospital Meals Prints

"Give it to me straight, doc, I can take it... it's meatloaf for dinner again, right?"

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

NHS Efficiency Drive

"Don't distress yourself, when I said he was on our critical list, I just meant that he's been critical about the food, the staff, and everything else!"

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

"The food's so bad in here I had them put me back on the intravenous feedings."

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'Yuk! I'm too young to die! Send out for pizza!'

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."

Deli Special - 2 bean salad: 'We ran out of red beans.'

"They call this a semi-private room?"

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

Hospital Finances.

'As you requested, we trimmed the fat.'

'You're doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hopital food!'

'This pan of soapy water...I'm worried that if someone was blind, stupid and had no sense of smell or taste they might think it was soup!'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'It was the menu in this pub that drove me to drink...'

"How long have we been married?"

"Mexican food?! This is America! I want pizza!"

Same old slop, day in, day out.

"I wouldn't complain about the food too much if I were you. I'm the Birdman of Alcatraz, all I get is millet and if I'm really lucky a few berries!"

"First we need to do a wallet-scan"

'It's the health trusts policy to offer the patient choice, whenever possible, Mr. Lumb.'