Food Channel Followers Mugs

Gordon Ramsey Ahead road sign.

Queen of Quinoa

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

Local, free-range bug juice.

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Loyd Grossman

"What's trending?"

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"Yes, it was a lovely meal wasn't it? I used a marvellous new caterer called 'pest control'."

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

People wanted For Taste Test.

Have you noticed how chefs have replaced hairdressers in the social pages?

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

Two sharks are following some 'carrot fish' - 'I don't care if they're good for my eyesight... I'm not eating a carrot fish!'

Jerusalem's Got Talent

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

"Once koalas taste shark, they never go back to eucalyptus."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'