Florist Gifts

"Could I get a single perfect olive branch?"

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

"What sort of flowers say, 'I promise to obey the restraining order'?"

Flower Arranging.

The Goldilocks Flower Emporium has bouquets labeled Too Much Commitment, Too Little Commitment, and Just Right.

"I need something that says, 'I'm sorry about that thing I said that caused you to totally overreact.' "

'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'

'Sorry, I had to call the authorities. Whenever a guy buys that many roses, you just know he's guilty of something.'

'I gave my wife a single long-stemmed rose...she sent me back for the other eleven!'

"Sometimes you just have to stop and b***h about the roses."

'Look Mummy, I've picked you some flowers.'

'Are you sure that's all you have to say?'

'I told my wife that I didn't buy her chocolates because she'd put on a bit of weight...how many roses do you think it will take before she lets me back into the house?'

'Tch... why does Amanda always have to go that one step further?'

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift." (Colour)

"I'm looking for something that says, 'I'm sorry I bit off your leg.'"

"Of course they're weeds.What do you expect at these prices?..Roses?"

Say it with Flowers: But not without a lawyer present.

Say It With Flowers "What bouquet best says 'Please don't tell my wife'?"

'Never mind why, Larry. . . just get someone over to the hospital and retrieve that other order.'

"Pay now or pay later."

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

'Thank-you for the flowers. I'll just pop them in a very small vase.'

Flower power.

'I brought you here to say I'm sorry. Can we go now - or do I have to buy you some?'

Say it with flowers.

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

'My wife and I had a big fight last night.'

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

'Florist...say it with flowers' 'Butcher...say it with pork chops.'

'They were all out of roses.'

"They weren't wilted before you picked them up!"