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'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"That one shows our office cliques."

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Soaring Profits

Mr Metrosexual.

Business is off the chart.

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Gloat

A guide to seasons in the North East

Out.

"And this is where we all gave up."

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

Shoes Make The Man

"Heads or tails?"