Fitness Newbies Pillows

'Our basic membership is $470. And for an extra $50 our staff will refrain from pointing and snickering at you in your workout clothes.'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Be Healthy

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

The rock caricature

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Running

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Brad Pitt

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Exercise now!

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

Dog stretching before a walk.

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'