Fiscal Thinker Gifts

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

First month money unification

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

'Should the U.S. motto be, 'In for a buck, in for a trillion'?'

"Those taxpayers are real extremists."

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

Business Philosophy 101.

EU Budget: '5% more and you're home free!'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'It's your debt to society.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

Pork barrel projects vs Keynesian economics.

Cost of Terror.

'When does a tax increase not sound like a tax increase?'

Euro crisis bailout.

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

Debt Ceiling and False Ceiling.

'Are you interested in a fixed income annuity with guaranteed safety of principal and substantial income for life?'

"Under the new tax plan, do we get it in the neck more or less than under the old tax plan?"

"Here's my idea. First we privatize everything. Then we fire everyone. Then we give ourselves bonuses for frugality."

"Uh, well, I can't pay today, but my Surety, Joe Q. Public's Great-Great-Great Grandson will stand good for me..."

'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

Transactional Relationship Manager

Old: In God We Trust. New: God Help Us.