First Writing Project Pillows

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Thru versus Through Traffic

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Torturing the English Language