First Job Jitters T-Shirts

'First day on the job is always exciting. I can tell you're just itching to get started.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Killer Executive Suits.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Reach for the Star.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

Pipe Dream.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Surfing the daily stress

"Make a lot of money."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

New Guy.

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'