First Job As A Contractor Pillows

"So you turned off the power, huh?"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Pajama Day 743

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Dancing Doctor

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Tool Box

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

God's Subcontractors

Good Luck!

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Wait, there's another fold? No wonder we have so many extra stones."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'