First Cruise T-Shirts

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

'Do ships 'like this' sink very often? No madam, only once!'

"I've never been on a cruise before!"

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

"Great, our first cruise and it rains for 40 days and nights."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Now that's an afro!'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Airport Security.

'Are we there yet?'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Mr. Punch in Venice

The World's Easiest Airport

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

A private jet takes off

Airplane Mode.

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

'See you in two weeks!'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

Lifesaver!

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.