First Chanukah With Newborn T-Shirts

Nerve-racking Chanukah moments

"His first out-of-body experience."

Madonna of the Pukes.

Santa Claus's Mail

'The child is very illogical'

Swinging on a star.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Botany Baby!

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'Hm-m-m - it sleeps most of the time. I think it must be some kind of cat.'

Baby Screen Time

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Stork and baby discover scarecrows

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Which one's yours?"

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Out of patience

Bedtime story.

Apricots