Financial Whiz With A Twist T-Shirts

'Prof. Sigurdt has made giant strides in making genetic engineering profitable.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

Soaring Profits

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

Business News.

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

'Wait a minute....!

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

"..and if the chairman rings, find out who he is."

'Money, I'm home!'

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

'Profit in the garbage.'

Tax Collector

Financial chart with frowny and smiley faces.

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Of course I'm depressed. Just once I'd like to be associated with an up stock market."

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

IRS, 'This is the first time I've seen the square root of minus one on a tax return.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

"For this year's financial picture, we've done away with graphs."