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"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Cheapskate Cruises

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Travel Agency. We can afford far, and we can afford wide, but we can't afford both.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Europe on $5000 a day.

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Basic economy