Financial Planner Enthusiast Mugs

Sadie, you've refused for a decade to discuss your finances with me. That's fine. But we should make provisions in case something … in case … Tell me nothing will ever happen to us!!! Part of every death planning session is a glimpse into the raw terror of it all. We'll live to argue forever, Snookums.

"Yeah, yeah, you can do a nice mating-dance, but I need to see a bank statement..."

'...And they all hoped they would live happily ever after.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

European currency on the edge.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'