Financial News Snoozer Prints

"It's 10 p.m. Do you know where the leading economic indicators are?"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'The recession is over, again.'

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

Giant merger.

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

'U.S. stocks surged on news that the government they all hate won't go out of business.'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'I hear it's a grudge match between the three of them.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Skip the comics. Let's get on to the financial page.'

'The market goes up, the market goes down. And that's our business report.'

The market went up and down, up and down, up and down...

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

"On Wall Street today, the stock market corrected its previous correction, and is pretty sure it's got it right this time."

"Today, stocks dropped on news the new federal reserve chief, Janet Yellen, is a 'rookie'."

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

'Today, in the stock market, 'irrational exuberance' was up, 'caution' was down.'

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'