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"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"What's a debenture?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Stock market investment advice

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."