Financial Downturn Pillows

Ran out of money.

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

Stress.

'My balloon mortgage blew up in my face!'

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

'Any chance of a bailout?'

Mario Draghi

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

'How long's he been out there?'

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

'We don't have a mission statement. We have a survival plan.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

'And here is the effect spiraling energy costs, reduced consumer confidence and limited access to credit is having on our company.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'