Financial Critique Aficionado Pillows

"In life, like in markets, there are peaks and troughs. You are a trough."

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'As you can clearly see in this Pie Chart...something is eating into our profit margins!'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

World Financial Mafia

Trickledown economics

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

"The people who were running the economy last year... are running the economy this year."

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

'George, are you responsible for chopping down this here World Economy?'

Clever pitbulls.

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

Wall Street: Panic, don't panic

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"Willis has kindly agreed to sum up our current financial position."

Mismanagement at the Bank of England

"We've lowered our IPO price so many times, the Street's referring to it as an Initial Pathetic Offer."

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

Why Can't We Make Money From Our Mistakes Like Equifax?

'The stock market rose sharply today, and the police are baffled.'

Financial Bailout Required.

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."