Financial Consultation Prints

'You have too many credit cards. I think you have a debt wish.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Annual profits,

Time Is Money

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

E.U. Banking Union.

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

"Just go with the workflow."

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'