Financial Cautionary Tale Fan Prints

'My wife left me and I lost my fortune. Well, not in this order.'

Sub-prime Bear

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

Street signs you don't want to see.

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

Greece - The Black Hole

"Will the current economic trend end in a whimper or a bang? For answers, let's turn to tonight's guests!"

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

'Make sure he doesn't turn his TV to any business news programs while he's here.'

Piggy bank queuing at the bank.

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

Business Fairy Tales.

Only Larry showed a look of concern as he remembered his mother's warnings that he should never run with Scissors.

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

S.S, Eurozone in Mayday call

Giant bird.

Symbols of Wall St.

"Something tells me we should avoid the sushi here!"

At a creative writing workshop for accountants.

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

Accounts: Kill Bills.

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

'Tortoise and the ne'er-do-well...'

'Now remember, let me do the crying.'

I.R.S. tax office with man sitting in front of agent's desk looking at RECOVERY & SCREAM ROOM door.

'How to profit from a financial meltdown.'

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.