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'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Staff support"

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"