Finance Jargon Enthusiast T-Shirts

What does that mean, 'bed and breakfast my pork bellies'? I don't know. I made that up!

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Look at this - we're trying to merge with some of our acquisitions, and we're trying to acquire some of our mergers."

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'I got my foot in the door...at a price!'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

Terms and conditions on the mount