Film Writer Pillows

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

'We're calling it... 'World war zit!''

'The following is an explanation for why I come home late and drunk. Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Copycats

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Showbiz Awards

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Director/Action Man toy.

Campaign for Plain English

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'