Film Reviews Prints

"The following program is rated P, for 'poop.' "

The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Star Wars.' I don't want to hear it. An alpha doesn't care to hear the opinions of anonymous strangers on the internet. People are more likely to post ill-considered nonsense if their real names aren't attached to their words. Juiceman842 tweeted the opposite the other day. Proves my point.

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Batman V Superman." It's a disgrace! It paled in comparison to the originals from my day! Henry Cavill is no Kirk Alyn! Ben Affleck is no Lewis Wilson! A superhero that doesn't wear his underpants on the outside is no superhero at all!!! Especially if he doesn't pull them up all the way to his armpits.

Great movie. I wagged, I whined.

"You never told me what you thought of 'Wolverine.'" "I was waiting." "For what?" "For the consensus." "My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict." "If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid."

"I understand this film is a real stinker."

"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

"I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants...but I always do that."

Trust the critics. They know best what makes a good movie.

"It was wonderful! We laughed, we cried. We had other emotions too but those were the main ones."

"I like bad movies. I don't watch them, but I love the scathing reviews."

Barry Norman

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

"I saw Power of the Dog. Big disappointment."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Showbiz Awards

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Herman Mankiewicz