Festive Finance Aficionado Pillows

"Making purchases with credit cards should have a five day waiting period!"

The day the stock market went UP.

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Advent Calender.

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Vaccine Reindeer

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

'It's called 'Creative Accounting'.'

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

"It doesn't feel like Christmas. So, I'm drinking until it does."

'We've drunk a Christmas toast to my portfolio, now let's drink a Christmas toast to your portfolio.'

SEE SANTA, ''Happy Holidays'? -- Don't tell me YOU'RE getting politically correct, now?'

"If you ask em this figure for cost of goods given is a little low."

'I see management bonuses remain unaffected again this year.'

"I'm the ghost of christmas past due."

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

Financial Christmas

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'