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Rabbi on the Roof with Dreidels

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Raised by Dogs

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Hon, I'm home!'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Guess who's teething?'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"What?!"

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Under New Mismanagement

Beer Lunch

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

Pastoral Choirs

"It's not you, I just prefer big dogs."