Fertility Treatments Mugs

"How much were you thinking of spending?"

Picture of my mother?

'...no no, it was good for me...it just didn't have quite the pazzazz of IVF.'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Three Parent Baby

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Center.

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

Science and mothers day

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."