Fee Investigator Prints

Tell me about your travel extras please. Airport tax,security charge,fuel levy and customer nuisance surcharge.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Trumpled

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Let's have a moment's silence to remember the profits we used to make."

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'

"Quick! Am I the Independent Counsel or the Special Prosecutor?"

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

'Have we found a scandal in here?'

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."

'I'd like to investigate your tax return.'

Cards. Birthday. I don't know if 50 is the new 40, but apparently $4.95 is the new buck-fifty!

"Will he ever be able to produce revenue again?"

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

Frivolous Fraud Squad