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"What happened to Scott, the new management trainee? Wasn't Mr. Rod teaching him everything about the business?"

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"I'm still pre-literate."

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

'I did it all from memory.'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

Education and Apprenticeships

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

I see we have the same summer reading list. ABC.

Welcome to Kindergarten. It's a list of school supplies -- I need pencils, a ruler, crayons and a laptop!

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

"You have to give the younger colleagues the opportunity to fly on their own."

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

'Pete plays truant, but keeps up with his lessons!'

Modern Studying

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

Apparently I didn't learn enough. They say I have to come back tomorrow. Welcome to Kindergarten.

Billy's 1st Day of Private School

"Now remember this formula, it's going to be on the test."