Farm To Table Joker T-Shirts

So, what's the secret ingredient to your famous 'Cow Pie' jelly?

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Check zombies.

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'