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Fan Club

'YOU'VE GOT TO STOP WATCHING THE CEILING FAN!'

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

Meeting your Idol (Girl crying after meeting Lee Ryan from Blue).

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Campaign for Plain English

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Bowled over again!

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

The Fourth Little Pig

The tooth fairy.

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Lady of the bath...

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Boy and Bear and Monster

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"Werewolves of London..."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Warrior Woman

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.