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Charlemagne

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

TV jester.

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'The King of what?'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'