Family Succession Pillows

"Someday, barring a leveraged buy-out, a hostile takeover, or a substantial increase in estate taxes, this will all be yours."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

Family DNA

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Someday this will all be yours...assuming that someday you'll have enough to buy it from me."

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"My Aunt Agatha – feminist, civil rights activist, philanthropist, sound engineer for 'Cheap Trick at Budokan.'"

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"This is what happens when a family business doesn't have a succession plan!"

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs (or bases), illustrating genetic inheritance within the family

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

The best time capsules are our children.

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.