Family Member Interested In Satire T-Shirts

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

Knights of the Round Whatever

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

John Banville

Art Vandalism

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

Might Versus Right.

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

'Never to be seen again!"

Sick Exhibitionist

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

Suppliers of fine pin-stripe

'What did Cane say to his brother?'

An Angel with a Devil's Shadow

"New law, Diogenes. We're confiscating your barrel."

'Don't panic Big Guy, I'm just here to cut you down to size.'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"They've been hard times, Al, but they've been fun times, too."

'At this price, I only have to sell one bottle to have a good year.'