Family Chore Expert T-Shirts

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

"I see your problem, honey. You're doing everything 'waterfall'. You should switch to 'agile'."

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

Unwanted Guests

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

"Does he like those shorts you bought him for Christmas?"

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Tunnel of Laundry.

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"