Family Chief T-Shirts

"Being a Mom may be a lot of work but at least you've got job security."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Dogs

Balancing work and family

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Oh, no

Acclaimed mother.

Miracle Mom #5,293

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

Von Trapp family masks

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"This is what happens when a family business doesn't have a succession plan!"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'My mom is really important in our house. She's the cook, housekeeper, nanny, lanundress and the boss.'

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Dad's home

"Whoa. Nap time again. Meeting adjourned."

Chief of Staff A North American Indian working away in an office.

"Yeah, the medals are nice, but this is what I'm most proud of!"

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

Super express lane for working mothers only!

"Moses, it's your mother. It's the only way I could get hold of you. You never call."

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"