Fairytale Analyst T-Shirts

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"You're only winning because it's a wheelbarrow race."

A Fairytale Update

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

US and the EU

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

The Frog Prince

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

"Your tea party numbers are way down this month Jerry."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"I never let my hair down on the first date."

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

Rapunzcow

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'Sure, your father was my Prince Charming...but he didn't arrive on a white horse...he was in a Red Mustang GT!'

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'